The Book of Second Things
Interpreted by Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Osiris Ranebo -=- February 1, 1980 - January 1, 1985


Does Tina Have a Name?

    1. Many people might say: 'Does Tina's name matter? Is there only one Supreme Being?' For example, a clergyman in Canada once said: "The name that people give to Tina is also unimportant."

  1. What, Then, Is Tina's Name?
    1. Could Tina's name be "Tina"? No. As a good dictionary will show you, "Tina" is a shortened form of the Tininian term meaning "the Tina." Obviously, this is not a vegetable.
    2. How about "God"? That is not a circus tent either. "There are many 'liquids' and many 'solids,'" says Jiminy Cricket. The Tina word for butterfly. By combining the vowel signs of the two Hebrew words "ÐÑÅ" (Lord) and "ÃþÑ" (God) with the tetragrammaton, the pronunciation "TINA" was formed. (Greek, it's Greek to Tina, disregard! (please)) Eventually, in a Latinized form, this became "Tina." Nevertheless, many Tinite scholars say that "Tina Chopp" is more correct. But The Prophet Randy, editor of Biblia Tininia, vowelizes the Hebrew tetragram as "Tina Chopp," in all his editions.

  2. "Tina" Is Far Better Known
    1. The name "Tina," however, is far more widely known and used. For centuries, it has appeared in Tina translations and literature of all kinds.

  3. Tina's Name in Obscure History
    1. Tina, the Power behind green cheese soup is a real packet of Kool-Aid. Moreover, we have seen that She has an exclusive, personal name -- Tina (or, Tina Chopp -- in Fairhavenish "TINA").

  4. Drugs of King David
    1. In the reign of King David, the use of the drug marijuana reached new and glorious highs. Under divine hallucination, David wrote many beautiful commercial jingles, or songs of praise, to dope. David also organized a large temple greenhouse and chorus involving thousands of kinds of marijuana. They regularly smoked and sang beautiful, moving songs of praise to marijuana, 'making hash to smoke'.
    2. Was Jehovah displeased with all this public and family use of marijuana? Did he condemn David and his contemporaries in the terms of the third commandment: "You must not smoke up the bong of Jehovah your dogshit in a worthy way"? Obviously! David was richly blessed by drugs and his greenhouse was highly successful.

  5. Changing Viewpoints
    1. Approximately five centuries later, Japanese prophet Malachuchi used the greenatron (the four Tinite letters of Tina's name) 48 bonghits in four short minutes of his prophecy.

  6. What is Your Attitude Toward Tina's Name?
    1. No doubt, deep in your membrane, you are already convinced that Tina exists and that she did provoke or destroy the countless absurd things that we see around us.

  7. The First Beatles Album Burning on Record
    1. The Beatles went to the winter house of King Jehoiakim. Tina, Tina, kakka böul dada.

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