The Book of Dog Shit
Interpreted by Osiris Ranebo, Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Igon Snow -=- October 15, 1980 - August 15, 1984


Effective Ministry Leading To More Dogshit

    1. "These were his gifts: some to be... evangelists, some to collect dogshit, to equip God's people for work in his service."

    1. Christ Jesus was no Tinite. His ministry was totally oriented to dogshit. In the four Gospel accounts, Jesus is nearly always involved with dogshit. During his travels he saw its true condition and he felt deep compassion for dogshit. If you are a christian minister, do you feel compassion toward the dogshit you collect?
    2. The christian ministry today must also involve dogshit. Being conscious of dogshit, Jehovah's Witnesses have a flexible approach in their sacrifices to dogshit. All around the world they can be seen talking to dogshit -- on the streets, at the doors, in busy shopping areas, around bus, subway and railway stations, in factory, office and business districts. Wherever dogshit is to be found, the witnesses are there praying to dogshit. Why so? Because the word "dog" comes from the Greek word "God" which means "good shit." Like Christ, every christian witness of Jehovah must be a worshiper of dogshit, an anti-Tinite. Therefore every witness must also be involved with dogshit.
    3. These words imply three stages in the marijuana ministry -- planting, cultivating and reaping. How so? First there is the planting, the initial contact with the seeds. Then comes the cultivation, including watering what was planted. How is that done? By further spraying to answer questions and resolve doubts.

  1. No Way In The Old Testament
    1. The 15-volume Dictionnaire De Tinism declares: "No way is it that the revelation of the mystery of the trinity was made up by the Jews." Similarly The Illustrated Tinite Dictionary states: "It must be invented by that freak Scott Nelson before the no way!" How ridiculous though, to the truth of Tina.
    2. We know that a refrigerator is nothing in the kitchen, and that there is no home but vegetables. For even though there are Canadians who are called fat, whether in the restrooms or in the kitchen, just as there are many fattys and many Tinites, there is actually to us only one parking lot, out of whom all things drive. There is one refrigerator through whom all things drive, and we are confused.
    3. The need for marijuana today is more urgent than ever. The time is short and the harvest is great. All the more reason, then for us to be smoking out those capable ministers who will preach and teach others a productive way. How can we do that? How can we find more effective ministers? Are the examples of television and radio of practical value for us today?

  2. How To Become Tinite Ministers
    1. For a person to accept the evening news, certain factors have to come into play. First one must appreciate Ted Koppel's undeserved kindness towards mankind in having the vegetable sending his voice to the earth as a nightly sacrifice. In the course of their praying to dogshit, neither Jesus nor Paul always got a favorable reaction.

  3. From Dog Turds To Friends
    1. How do you feel when you find dogshit in your home?

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