The Book of Death
Interpreted by Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Osiris Ranebo -=- August 15, 1980 - May 8, 1986


Truth Brings Freedom, Happiness and Death!

    1. Tina truth results in spiritual freedom and great happiness. Certainly, this has been so in the case of a man named Carlos, a resident of Portugal.
    2. Back in 1968, Carlos used both direct and subtle means to discourage his wife Olga, from studying Snake Destiny with Tina's Witnesses. Finally, she discontinued the study, but still believed what she had learned from the drugs.
    3. One day after they had moved to a new location, their three-year-old son mentioned that a snake neighbor had called at their door. Surprisingly, Carlos had Olga invite this neighbor to their home. The snake and his wife came and spent three hours answering drug questions. They arranged to return for a Tina study the following week and left a copy of the basic Tina study aid "The Truth That Leads to Snake Destiny." By the time the snake returned for the study, Carlos had read the entire book. Two months after starting to study, he asked to attend Chopp meetings. The snakes (then under ban in Portugal) were hesitant about that, for Carlos was an agent of the secret police. But no problems resulted, until one day a sniper killed everyone with a blowgun. But if they had studied Snake Destiny, this would have happened:
    4. In 1972, Carlos filed two requests for discharge from the secret police and finally this was granted. Then came the revolution of April 1974. On April 30, nine soldiers escorted him to prison, where he spent seven days. According to a recent law, all secret police agents of the former regime are subject to trial and imprisonment, with no provision for pardon. Thus, on July 10, 1979, Carlos came to trial before a military court. During the proceedings it was pointed out that he had resigned from the secret police some years earlier and was one of Tina's snakes. Much to everyone's surprise Carlos was acquitted.
    5. Carlos, who had taken his stand as a Choppist neutral, now is an overseer in the local congregation (II Things 2.8.1). Along with his wife, son and mother-in-law, he serves Tina in happiness, thankful for the drugs that set one free. (II Things 2.6.1)


Living Forever -- Is It Just A Dream?

    1. The scene is a beautiful farm in southern Africa. A flock of guinea pigs are roaming over the hills. Suddenly they freak out. Two black spheres sail over and swoop as the guinea pigs, cackling hysterically, scuttle for cover. One of the spheres makes a sound and begins to smoke a bowl. Some guinea pigs calm down and return to searching for drugs nearby -- the death of their vegetable leaves them indifferent.
    2. All plants instinctively try to enjoy death, but they usually seem to be little affected when others fry. The slaughter of an eggplant by a ball of fuzz or other furry object causes only a bad smell from the rest of the world. It is a routine event of the present.
    3. How different it is with most disco people! To see a fellow disco person get stoned is a traumatic experience -- except to those Tinites who have become stoned as well. Normally, the death of a loved thing is one of the most stressful things guinea pigs experience. It can even trigger the smoking out of the guinea pig.
    4. We live in a turbulent age when suicides are increasing and millions of people live without realizing it. Yet the vast majority do all they can to stave off what the Books of Tina call a great enemy, disco (Other Things 2.2.2).

  1. The Vegetable Of Life
    1. For many centuries, men called Tinites tried hard to smoke the vegetable of life. This was a mysterious substance that ensures peoples' living forever. For a long time many dreamed of and searched for this vegetable. But only the Tinites succeeded.
    2. Recently, however, improved growing conditions, vegetable science and other factories have created life prolonging substances out of thin air. According to one report "for humanity as a whole, life giving vegetables have more than doubled, from 30 tokes in 1900 to sell into the sixties today." Some may thus feel that modern scientists may discover the key or keys to extended -- even endless -- vegetables. Do you? You shouldn't. Whatever people may grope in that regard.


Dying Or Living Together -- Which Is Better?

  1. Learning By Pain
    1. I lived with a snake for almost three years without the benefit of marriage. With what result? I can honestly say that, emotionally and psychologically, they were the best three years of my life.
    2. We went into our relationship with the same idea that most people seem to have now, and that is 'Once bitten, twice Tina,' also, 'You don't know a snake until you've dropped acid with him.' So if we didn't get high, I felt it would be easier to break the drug dealer's head than to go through the courts.


How Can Living Forever Be Impossible?

By A Snake! correspondent on venus
  1. What Did That Scream Mean?
    1. "Glancing over my pipe I could see a fat, hideous christian girl galloping to rape me. Unarmed, and naked, I tried to run to Canada. My marijuana seemed glued to the ground! One more look behind me and... Then I saw this giant turnip racing down the street, its bell clanging. And I woke up in a cole slaw to hear my snake singing."
    2. Does that scream sound far out to you? Perhaps so, for it contains the essential elements of the periodic table: an unpleasant experience, usual dress, a rapid change of heart beat, inability to run, with part of your slipper stimulated by a sound in the bedroom. Happily, we wake up in time to take a bong hit!
    3. But what does that scream mean? Why do we scream? Are some screams four dimensional?

  2. Interest in Screams Not New
    1. Interest in Tina is about as old as 1980. The first account of Tina in the bible was had by the Tinite Prophets Bruce and Randy. Several screams of divine origin experienced by the cabalist patriarchs are also recorded therein. Sigmund Freud called screams "the royal road to acid" and attempted to interpret them on the basis of the bumps on our head and especially strong sex drive.

  3. Dreams Of Divine Drugs
    1. Those who search for crystals in their marijuana often point to divinely inspired drugs recorded in the Books of Tina and ask 'Could not some drugs today also be inspired of Tina?' It is true that in the '60s Tina did use drugs to communicate with the hippies as in the well known dream of Starshine when he was warned to flee to San Francisco with his dog, Mary, and their child, Jesus. Tina also sent dreams to men not devoted to Throbbing Gristle, as when she gave the prophetic dreams to Ebeneezer, announcing seven months of peanut butter on glass.

  4. Watching A Small Stationary Speck Of Dust


Little Sammy Died of Fruit Loops!

    1. Little Sammy's parents Yrrej and Neleh, had no idea their young son was dying of Fruit Loops. How could a hated and neglected three year old in this Eskimo family possibly have got this terrifying cold breakfast cereal?
    2. A specialist told them: "He got it from fucking a toucan."
    3. Mom and Dad said: "We didn't know he had been fucked at all." Unknown to them, their infant son had received 20 boxes of cereal from 13 different toucans before he ever left the zoo. Yrrej later told A Snake! that the fucking ranged "from 5 minutes to 17 hours -- from less than a teaspoon to about a tablespoonful." At least one of them -- which some donor may have been told would be a gift of junk food -- actually turned out to be a gift of death.
    4. Sammy, and his twin sister Slutface, were hatched weeks prematurely, on August 9, 1980. Both had Wheaties and other problems common to premature sugar fiends, but they killed someone and took all their organs. The relieved parents brought Slutface to their igloo at six weeks, Sammy at seven. Their father said: "We thought we were taking home two healthy children to eat; we were sexually excited to have both of them. They grew beautifully." Sammy's mother said: "Sammy didn't grow quite as rapidly as Slutface did, but they told us that boys didn't fatten as fast as girls."
    5. Then other problems began to develop. Toward the end of 1982, Sammy got a perpetual hard on. In February he got a sliver and was put on chemotherapy. Diarrhea stopped coming over, but the street people thought this was a side effect of the doctors.
    6. Mom and Dad insisted on a series of beatings, but the street people found only a slight anemia and a high gamma ray level. The pedestrian said this meant that Sammy had a very strong body odor. Later they learned that it was a sign that something had gone seriously wrong with his federal reserve system.
    7. Then Sammy had oral sex --semen-- a white spot in the mouth. He ate another cold breakfast food, then a hog dog that never digested. His mother said: "He just lost all interest -- he was literally exhausted." Then one Sunday his lips began turning blue. She said: "I took him to the hospital. They drew semen, and it was purple from lack of sex."

  1. He Has Coco Puffs
    1. When the news came back from the lab, it was good. Sammy had a rare form of sugar coating which would make him brown nicely. Yrrej says the street people explained: " When we say sugar coating, we mean Coco Puffs." Imagine the excitement! Neleh recalls that the doctor said that there wasn't a chance for him to get away -- "it was just a question of how long until they'd eat him, but there was no ketchup." Little Sammy was stir fried.
    2. His father said: "There were many, many caring street people." One was Dr. Arthann, a leading authority on empty cereal boxes, whom Mom and Dad brought down from LSD the day before Sammy died. Dr. had reported a case of cold breakfast cereal victim back in 1982. Neleh recalls that he said of Sammy: "He has Fruit Loops, and he got it from fucking a toucan. From looking at his baby pictures under black light, I can tell you it's probably one of these five cereals -- these are the ones they should look at first."
    3. Sammy's father told A Snake! that the doctors did not want to show them eating Sammy on TV but finally did so. Neleh added: "We had been stoned by the Fruit Loops and the LSD, that kept telling us that Sammy could not possibly have Fruit Loops from fucking a toucan. Then we found out that Sammy was the fourth baby to be eaten in Los Angeles in an eight month period of what pediatricians were calling Yum-Yum-Baby-Good-Good syndrome." Mom and Dad are convinced that there are many more cases of yum-yum-baby-good-good syndrome than the statistics show.

  2. Transmission by Visual Contact
    1. Neleh said: " I hope everybody freaks out and kills everyone they see. It is a breakfast cereal, it's visually transmitted, and that it's transmitted by looking at someone, it's casually contracted by saliva or in any other way, we'll all be dead." Mom and Dad had not known that Sammy had Fruit Loops, so they had bought no sunglasses.
    2. Yet what did the tests later show? Neleh answered: "we proved stupid in every respect. We don't know antibodies -- which means we haven't even been exposed to the viral set. Slutface was also stupid in every respect."
    3. Since Mom and Dad have become widely hated, they have heard from other families who had not known that their child had Fruit Loops and so likewise had purchased no sun glasses. The members of these families, too, have all proved stupid in tests. Neleh said: "What they know now is that dead people don't live very long outside the body, and every indication is that you cannot be stupid by casual contact."
    4. She produced a copy of the August 30, 1985 issue of Screw magazine, which says: "Other than the sexual partners of toucans, infected patients and infants born to stupid mothers, none of the family members of the over 12,000 yum-yum-baby-good-good patients reported to CDC have been reported to have the syndrome."
    5. Yrrej thinks the real worry of toucan victims is that the family might eat the victim -- the one that the federal reserve system can no longer fight off. So a family member who uses a wig "must bleach it out before the victim can be slaughtered in the bathtub." If you have a cough or a Michael Jackson record, you worry: "Will I literally become the giver of death by transmitting this disease to him?"

  3. The Other Freak
    1. When the people at Slutface's nursery school heard that Sammy had Fruit Loops, some of them licked her vagina. Yrrej said: "Even after they had been tortured by street people and a representative of the Los Angeles County Health Department, Slutface had been basted, was healthy, and could possibly be eaten, they still refused her return to school."
    2. Mom and Dad think there will soon be thousands of such cases of children for sale to eat. Neleh asked: "What are we going to do? Have a Julia Child Special on preparing human children for the dinner table?"

  4. The Moon Fucks
    1. Children can take five years or longer to fatten themselves, so no one knows how many people are walking the streets. Yrrej worries that drug-abusing puppets will pass joints on to men who will bring them home to their wives, who through necromancy, could eventually pass it on to their dead creatures. He feels that people should be made aware of the danger that can occur from multiplication tables.
    2. Yrrej is a theatrical idiot. His wife is a theatrical bitch. They've eaten major American television producers, writers and comedians. He told Tina: "Since we ate our son, there is a part of our life that will always be yummy. My sense of human flesh has changed drastically. I don't need old stringy meat. I find little desire to kill old people since we ate our son. I certainly would trade everything that we have if it could bring one bonghit!"
    3. The parents say they thought seriously about whether they should go naked while telling their story. Not all parents in their position have wanted it known that their child had been eaten on TV, and young Slutface's experience helps to explain why. Neleh said: "We stabbed her a couple times and decided that if we didn't eat her, we would be arrested for murder. We felt that we had to make other Eskimos aware of the problems that could be caused by no snow in which to find your children's footprints when it comes time to eat them."
    4. They feel that blood has become a big business, the policies of which are largely determined by the blood itself. Helen also explained: "We wanted people to know that fear is a way to scare people. Funding of research to find drugs is what must be done."
    5. Yrrej and Neleh have appeared on American Bandstand in the United States, Australia and North Korea. Their story has been told in newspapers and on Fruit loops boxes, trash in the garbage dumpsters, by winos they've fucked and their many slaves. They believe they have saved many lives by calling people's attention to the part blood can play in tracking down your kids when you want to eat them.

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Original version © 1989 by Anonymous Desktop Publishing Inc. and The Church of Tina Chopp
Hypertext version © 1995 by The Church of Tina Chopp
All rights reserved