By Rev. Dr. Guido S. DeLuxe, DD, LDD, OHS, ST, MSU
The Books of Tina Chopp were originally transmitted by The Holy Snake to the Tinite Prophets, Bruce and Randy between approximately December, 1980 and approximately January, 1982 (occasional additions and modifications were made as late as 1989). The Prophets were living, at that time, in a 7th floor apartment in Buchanan Towers, a dormitory at Western Washington University. Every day they were being actively instructed in the Doctrines of Snake Destiny and the Rituals of Vegetable Sacrifice and Snake Fondling (they hadn't yet learned about Bizarre Sex, that came later). According to the Sacred Revelations of The Holy Vegetable, along with the direct, succinct instruction of The Holy Snake Himself, The Prophets of Tina recorded details of the Tinite Scripture according to Tina's Will.
These messages, and a variety of graphical images which were given only to them, in accordance with the specific instructions they recieved from The Son of Tina Chopp Himself, eventually became what are now recognized as The Original Autographs of The Books of Tina. At the end of this period, The Holy Snake crawled out The 7th Floor Window carrying with Him the sins of the world which he sacrificed to Tina's Name in the Holy Vegetable Garden on Planet X-38. Several months later, after The Prophets had moved out of Buchanan Towers, The Holy Snake returned to The 7th Floor apartment where he was found by The Cleaning Lady, who thought He was a boot. When The Cleaning Lady discovered that The Holy Snake was not a boot, Saint Lois Garlick entered the picture and it was from Saint Lois that The Prophets eventually re-claimed The Holy Snake. By this time, The Church of Tina Chopp was already becoming a very dynamic and visible movement in the Bellingham area.
The Original Autographs are, for the most part, a vast array of demented scribblings, marginal doodling and chicken-scratches that, to most people, is totally illegible, so the founders of The Church of Tina Chopp, Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Osiris Ranebo, with the help of Tinite Saints Igon Snow and Jaymes Douglass Phyrr, interpreted and transcribed the original Holy Scribblings of The Books of Tina so that they could be read by anyone who might be interested. The Books of Tina were transcribed over a period of several years during the initial stages of the organization of The Church of Tina, from approximately 1980 to 1987 (dates are indicated at the top of each book).
If you're confused by what you read, rejoice, for the path to Tina is like a bus ride, you know you've almost arrived when you reach confusion because confusion is one stop before Tina.
Go to the Table of Contents, go back from whence you came, go back to the main menu, or don't.