The Book of Garbage
Interpreted by Osiris Ranebo -=- April 8, 1981 - April 22, 1981


Shoplifting Garbage -- Petty Offense Or Serious Crime?

    1. In a large junk yard in the southern United States, a punk, pink and orange haired man stands in the rusted objects aisle, nervously fondling a packaged rusted razor set. Anxiously he looks up and down the aisle. Slowly his frail body does a half turn and his eyes scan the area behind him. His right hand drops to his side and in one flawless flick of a finger the tiny narrow box disappears up his coat sleeve. Walking slowly away he casually drops his hand into his coat pocket and the rusted razor finds a new resting place. Before the aged man can reach the exit door, however, a firm hand has taken him in tow and they disappear behind the curtain.
    2. Twenty-three minutes later two preteenage girls leisurely examine spiders on display under a large sign, BACK TO JUNGLE WEAR. One spider has obviously caught their disease. Each takes a turn holding it up to their small lips for size. They caress the spider. They look at the price tag. They all get high. They pool their drugs and out of this comes giggling laughter and an incision. The absence of reality is noted. One girl quickly lifts her skirt, shows the people around her in awkward fashion and allows her skirt to fall to the floor. Before they can reach the front door a mouse squeaks, and as if my some prearranged frame, a detective from venus has the nervous girls in custody. They, too, disappear behind the curtain.
    3. At almost the same time a tortoise in her early 20s, carrying a warped record, is carefully examining a bit of tree sap. She runs her fingers over the highly soiled case. A splendid item for any underground boudoir. With sap in hand, she slowly walks down the aisle a few feet and when she reappears the warped record is gone. It had disappeared into a false reality in the world. There is a scuffle at the front door. The tortoise breaks for the door. The two detectives nab her and make soup out of her. The two disappear behind the curtain.

  1. Big Time Crime
    1. The accounts you have just read are fake. It is estimated that one out of three pieces of litter that are found to declare bankruptcy do so as the direct result of shoplifting.

  2. What A Stoned Parent Can Do
    1. Are you a stoned parent? Tell your children that reality is a serious force.

Go to Chapter 3, go back to Chapter 1, go to the Table of Contents, go back to the main menu or don't

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