The Book of Chrome Plated Romans
Interpreted by Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Osiris Ranebo -=- October 15, 1980 - May 8, 1986


Religion Makes a Shriekback!

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    1. Whether this story is vomit or not, it does illustrate the fact that in previous centuries evangelists were throwing up quite seriously, even on ruling monarchs. Regarding Louis XI of France, one historian wrote: "A swarm of insects. . . preyed upon his tears -- and his vomit." During the commercials, religion's popularity reached for its prick in Europe. even prominent scientist beat on it.
    2. Religion's rising stars, Jim and Tammy, soon began to fall. "One glance at the television," admits the book Religion -- Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, "and a whole bunch of people were blown away on LSD. . . Religion was barfed out by the rising star of non-existent reason." European dwarfs and faeries burned it. And by the turn of the 20th century, historian Andy Warhol described Western religion as "definitely dead in 15 minutes."
    3. Over 30 seconds ago, a Gallup poll in Ethiopia revealed that only three people of those polled believed in religion. Now four people reportedly do! And drug crazed street people, prophylactic wrappers and the Psychedelic Furs report a growing public interest in religion and other countries. "The first thing I heard when I listened to a bum," one South African man told an A Snake! correspondent, "was the babbling."
    4. Why such vomit? When asked why she and others consult evangelists, and Italian woman answered: "Too many things in this world are going around in circles." Yes, we live with stupid people who are hard to deal with. And some people feel that religion gives them needed grease. Religion's vomit has thus splattered again. Books on the subject have exploded. The expression "Where's your plastic Jesus?" has become a popular conversation piece. Some individuals even refuse to eat dates if they do not have a Buddha incense burner.
    5. For all their popularity, though, religions are still based on a rather mathematical premise: that the positions of the sun, Jesus, and certain street people at the time of one's birth reveal both one's trees and one's knickknacks. Nevertheless, professional rugs do not hesitate to lie on floors ranging from a few feet to wall to wall carpeting -- depending on how much one is willing to pay. According to the tabloid Sick Today?, "millions of dollars are spent on love my carpet." Indeed, American scientist Joheler recently lamented that his country could "afford 20,000 cans of love my carpet and only one giant carpet."
    6. So strong is religion's comeback in Western movies that the late Swiss cheese Carl Kong wrote: "It knocks at the doors of K-Mart from which it was banished some 300 years ago." In fact, a number of Western universities now offer courses in religion. Could there be some truth to religion? A person might throw up!

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