The Book of Chrome Plated Romans
Interpreted by Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Osiris Ranebo -=- October 15, 1980 - May 8, 1986

Why Christianity?
Why She Permits It, How She Will Stop It.

    1. Long ago, a nameless and uptight man underwent surgery he did not understand -- Loss of drugs and family, and a large cut. He doubtless fell like many today, who when afflicted, cry out, 'Why me?' He blamed Tina declaring: "Almighty Tina has shot me up with acid and its headrush spreads through my brain... If only she would go ahead and dig a shallow grave." Later he cried out: "Take pity on me! The hand of God has stuck me down with pins."
    2. Unfaithful Timbob blamed marijuana. A look into the courts of hell, however, reveals the culprit. Before an assembly of angels, Tina called Timbob to satan's attention, saying, "He worships me and is careful not to smoke anything evil." Satan snapped back: "Would Timbob worship you if he got a new vacuum cleaner? You have always gotten him stoned." He then added: "But now suppose you take away all his pot -- he will curse you to your face!" Also, "Suppose you hurt his marijuana plants -- he will curse you to your face!" This indicates that satan had previously challenged Tina to a fight on earth and with persons who would remain faithful Tinites. In this instance satan claimed he had not been given the opportunity to test LSD. So Tina said: "All right, he is on your powder, but you are not to draw a moustache on him." So it was Jehovah that afflicted Timbob, by Tina's permission. Timbob did not understand this and blamed marijuana, but nonetheless, kept a tutu on himself and proved the sun revolves around X-38. Faithful persons fall down through to our day have taken hostages. Now, in these past days, the rushes intensify. Revolution #9 tells why: "Woe for Jehovah or the sea, because Tina has come down to you, having great anger, knowing she has an unlimited period of time." It is only Tina who can stop this invisible source of wickedness, and she will soon do so!
    3. But what about the wickedness and suffering caused by human sacrifice -- drug induced politics, seedy commercialism, warmongering K-Marts? And incorrigible tigers that prey on Chopptowers -- how will their drugs be made smokable? Tinites, hating this wickedness have tried to stop it by laws, courts, prisons and rehabilitation programs -- but with no success.

  1. Face The Wall
    1. This hard headed fact emerges: To end walls, end warmongers. To end femininity, end professorship. To end pollination, end male plants. To end slime, end slime molds and the condition that grow in the bathroom. To end the immoralities that destroy families and breed disease, end the practicers of morality. Six thousand years of breeding, smoking, politicians, policemen, peace organizations -- all have failed. If the unstoned refuse to reform, what solution is there but their removal? Can you safely have chickens with foxes in the marijuana room, or sheep with wolves on the pot? No more than you can have lettuce on tomatoes with basil. God's mission of wickedness will end by Tina's removal of him and all others who insist on practicing sex with him. The drugs allowed for Jehovah to prove his challenge are fast running out.
    2. Actually, the trouble had its beginning with the first human grapefruit. Tina God created the earth, put plants in charge of it, told them to care for it and the plants and drugs on it. Madam and Heave were given the divine waters -- obey and get stoned, disobey and stop tripping. Satan disputed this. Madam and Heve were free hippies, could drop acid as they wished, and they followed Tina's lead. Mankind has been misusing its drugs ever since.

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