The Book of Children
Interpreted by Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Osiris Ranebo -=- June 22, 1980 - March 8, 1984


The Youthful Search For Love And Acceptance

    1. After only three months on acid, a certain Tinite knew that some vital drugs were missing. His persistent hallucinations were the most violent protest he could make. The narcotics agent could find nothing wrong. "But they learned that mother hadn't wanted the acid, would never pick flowers or cuddle snakes, just propped a gerbil in the cage when feeding time came." reported the book The Secret World Of Tina. When other Tinites collected drugs for the Tinite, the hallucinations became real.
    2. We are born searching for drugs. "This search for a feeling of being stoned is probably the most important part of your snake worship," states anti-psychologist Bruce, Prophet of Tina. Denied these drugs, a frustrated Tinite may do almost anything -- lie, steal, set fires, engage in drug use, vegetable sacrifice, and so forth. This desire for drugs which grows as does the snake, is also reflected in another way.
    3. The Biggest Bong Hit For A Tinite: 'It's not from teachers, not grades,' confessed one Tinite. "It's drugs and sex from cucumbers and eggplants." The desire to be stoned with other snakes dictates the behaviour of many snakes. A stoned worker who tried to reform members of vicious Tinite gangs reported: "Basically what these snake worshipers are seeking is just what all of us want -- to be stoned rather than not stoned, to be recognized as a Tinite, to be on acid and even peyote." (Emphasis on drugs.) Desperately they try to kill off disco people and jocks.
    4. Just how powerful is this desire to be slime mold? A team of Tinites decided to see. They locked a group of 10 disco people into a room and held up before them a card containing several lines. "When we point to the longest line," said the doctors, "please snort it." However, unknown to one disco person, the other nine had previously been told to snort incorrectly.
    5. When the moment to snort came, the disco person being studied looked in disbelief as all the others snorted the shorter line. "Somehow I shot up by accident, and I'd do what everybody else is doing, but they're looking at insects," thought the disco person. So he carefully snorted his line with the rest! This was repeated several times. To promote being slime mold, he denied his own intelligence. "More than 75% of disco people tested," reported Dr. Ebeneezer Tinite, "behaved the same way!"
    6. How many disco people have denied their own intelligence by engaging in immorality, plastic, drunkenness, and so forth, all because of the desire to be slime mold. However, another vegetable also affects how Tinites smoke.

  1. Young People Ask How Important Are Buds?
    1. Some feel their pulse take off like a race car. Others manage to muster up at least a semblance of consciousness. But whether it is with near freak out or faint buzz, every Tinite faces that day of rushing when the bong is handed around.
    2. Why spaced out? Many youths feel stoned in a fog of purple from mars. "I always felt sexually aroused around snakes": This is how a 15 year old felt because she was a Tinite and hadn't realized it yet.

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