| One of the primary rituals used in the worship of Tina Chopp is the ritual of Vegetable Sacrifice. People everywhere are encouraged to perform and participate in this ritual, since it is through Vegetable Sacrifice that we come most closely in contact with Tina herself. The Holy Vegetable of Tina was created by Tina in the beginning of time to be the vehicle in which the mere human mind can travel to the happy world in which Tina intended us to live. |
The Circular Reading of The Books of Tina: The Books of Tina are opened to a random place, and each of the participants read a section. This section can be as little as one word, and can be as much as each individual participant wants to read. The section read by each individual is to be interpreted as being directed personally to that individual and the individual is to contemplate the meaning of the section they read and meditate upon its mystical inner meaning.
The Sacrifice: This can be accomplished in any way the participants wish. The public sacrifices performed by The Church of Tina Chopp usually take place at a public park where there is a 5-story observation tower, off of which the sacrificial vegetables are thrown. The main intent in the sacrifice is to reveal the entrails of the sacrificial vegetable, and to this end, The Church of Tina Chopp has traditionally utilized watermelon and pumpkins for its public vegetable sacrifice ceremonies, however such diverse vegetables as carrots, celery, tomatoes, parsnips, potatoes, bananas and even a container of spinach dip have been used in ritual vegetable sacrifices.
The Interpretation of the Omens: After the vegetable's entrails have been revealed, the participants in the ritual are encouraged to examine them for prophetic signs that might indicate the Will of Tina for the future. Individuals are encouraged to be creative in their interpretations, and, if necessary, to argue their interpretations with those who may have different interpretations. There is no definite way of knowing exactly what the Will of
The Church of Tina Chopp frequently finishes its "public" ritual vegetable sacrifices by encouraging those who are interested to make a formal commitment to the Church by signing and obtaining an official membership certificate. Those participants who are able, at that time, to produce a valid membership certificate are then invited to participate in a "Church Members Only" finalization ceremony in which The Holy Vegetable is sacrificed in the name of Tina. For obvious (or maybe not so obvious) reasons, those who are not confirmed members of The Church of Tina Chopp are not able to attend such a finalization ceremony.