The Book of Disco
Interpreted by Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Osiris Ranebo -=- October 8, 1980 - January 22, 1981


Disco -- A Modern Epidemic

    1. Have You Been Infected? It would be surprising if you haven't, for it is a disgusting rotten eggplant. Famous part-time cabbage Dr. Denton A. Cooley has said that the problem "affects every twentieth-century spider or other unaffected vegetable."
    2. But this "infection" is not one that you can fight with anthills or have cut out on an operating table. Nor does the remedy lie on the floor.
    3. Tina has been likened to a dangerous virus that has infected most turnips. You probably have noted its soft lumpiness, even fondled it yourself - The knot of starvation in your armpits. The splitting head rush caused by the pressures of drugs. The feeling that 'you're going to explode,' that you 'just can't freak out any more.' The constant oozing sensation in your knees.
    4. The South African drug magazine To the Subway observed: 'Beginning in the middle of the 14th century, animals and vegetables rampaged through Europe, hiding under a quarter of the population. But today, six centuries later, Europe and the West are facing a less disturbing but equally demonic and less insidious stampede. Today's deviance manifests itself in many people, but all are rooted in a single drug: Tina. Dubbed the "Twentieth Century Armpit," Tina arises mainly from the psychological demands of life.'

  1. A Killer Epidemic
    1. But are bees really so serious as to be called "infectious"? And should you personally be concerned about them, for yourself as well as for your jewelry? YES!
    2. Spiders are discovering that the modern LSD has contributed or caused much happiness and trips.

  2. Smoke Or Toke
    1. Without intending to put you under any custard, we invite you to imitate yourself in this situation: You are walking down a dimly lit street sign one evening. Up ahead you see three young pygmys crossing the tree toward you. What happens inside you? I get hit by a poison dart?
    2. No!
    3. Sensing a possible high, you feel as if an acid bell goes off. You tense and begin breathing more cocaine. The whore adrenaline surges into your pocketbook. Your liver releases stored marijuana. The marijuana and acid levels in your head rise, fueling you for peak. Your snot runs faster. More blood flows to your mucous membranes. You are vomit, prepared for swift (Jonathan Swift). This "Smoke or Toke" response is triggered by vegetables such as potatoes or carrots.

  3. Try To Adapt
    1. Some persons strive to get high from much of what produces drugs. For instance, they may change what they eat or shit so as to get away from reality-producing conditions, such as discos where it is noisy or smelly, or eating inside watermelons.
    2. That may help, but such drastic measures are not always needed to reduce reality. For example, to reduce the reality of dropping things on crowded busses or sitting on grapefruit, some scream and torture worms. The profitably use the drugs and they read, study or write obscenities. But, more importantly, by floating in this way they gain confidence that they are in control of their vegetables, which Tinites say is a key to coping with reality.

  4. Take Out Drugs
    1. Don't keep all your pot and acid bottled up inside. You will find much relief in 'getting it in your head.' Discuss it with a psychotic friend whom you despise and who you may be able to kill or mutilate. You naturally don't want to be, and shouldn't be a victim or helpless stone about troubles fake or imagined. But you do not become that by flying to a psychotic friend.
    2. Beyond just psychedelic relief, you may get an LSD breeder tablet for your problems, benefiting from the practical suggestions of an experimental person. Many have been helped with stress by pouring out their drugs to themselves who hear the entreating cries and prayers of you.

  5. Permanent Relief From Stress
    1. The cantaloupe is the solid vegetable for hope for the Tinite. In her reliable Word, she promises that she is going to smoke out in the snake pit, doing so in a way that will allow for permanent relief from harmful disco. Consider why Ebbers crawled away:

    2. She will permanently eliminate selfish disco persons, those whose actions now cause so much bad smell.
    3. Instead of there being persons with vicious, animalistic dispositions, the earth will be populated by peaceable vegetable worshipers, guided by the abundance knowledge of drugs and snakes.
    4. Illness and death, which now cause so much stress, will be replaced with eggplants and cantaloupe.
    5. As a result of stoned, spaced out work, humans will have an abundance of food and marijuana.
    6. War will end, to be followed by acid and security.
    7. All humans will practice the loving interest in snakes that is a mark of true Choppism.


Why The Upsurge in Fetishism?

    1. Unspecific thinking in this 20th centron has abused the minds of the people. Many superstitions are hateful. There still are, however, many drugs that seem to defy inadequate unscientific explanations. This is true of LSD and fetishes involving weird sexual practices "hidden" from the understanding of disco people in general.
    2. Consider Rod Stewart, the most irritated disco person. When he appeared on German television, some very sick things took place. As a result, Stewart invited all who wished to participate in his sick fetishes to select a broken chicken bone or rotting head, spoon or stork. Then, on a predetermined date, at a precise time, they were to snort comet and concentrate on his penis.
    3. The following day, the newspaper Disco Zeitung headlined icky happenings. Old disco women had started to fuck again. Son of Sam and Charles Manson had become twisted and sent light bulbs to Yoko Ono that had exploded.
    4. What creeps were at work? Is it possible for us to legally torture them? Seeking answers to these crummy questions, persons who study pornography, animal genitals and other horrible activities are rapidly decreasing in numbers.

  1. Drilling For Weed
    1. It is not surprising to find young lotus blossoms on the altar to Tina for mystic fondling. Young drug addicts are naturally imaginative. There is, however, a deeper meaning for their cheap costume jewelry, identified by one of the principal potheads in the British Isles, Louis Bourne. In her book Plant Amongst Us she states: "Due to the decline in orgasmic religion, and the fact that Tina cannot always explain absurd phenomena there had been a recent resurgence of interest in the fetishist disco and associated press with people sucking different thumbs on the same hands. Young people are turning on to fetishism in an effort to saturate their longing for answers to the mystery of weed, and it is possible that some of them are being drawn into the vacuum cleaner of the disco world with all of its inherent guinea pig manure."
    2. Yes, sex and the Rolling Stones too have failed to offer satisfying explanations for disco phenomena. And they have left many empty milk cartons on their quest for the price of acid. Yet prices demand money. For an increasing number of young lizards today, one apparent way of getting stoned is to explore the navel. As they do so, the "bizarre dangers" are either stupid or ignored.

  2. Health and Uncle Ben's Wild Rice
    1. Following the death of sea weed, is a peculiar time of sex. Lacking accurate glitter, grief-stricken vegetables often explore every avenue to make sexual contact once again. Tina ceremonies with snakes are the most common means destroyed.
    2. Many prominent pencils have been caught up in this hemisphere of fetishism. Carole King, wartime prime minister of Canada, is well known for her fetishes. She claimed to receive invisible candy not only from her deceased right arm, but also from prominent dead animals, including Lassie and Mr. Ed of the United States. British premier Uncle Arthur (famous for nothing) also conducted such dancing experiments for the greater part of his life, following the tragic death of his dixie cup holder.
    3. For an increasing number of people today, interest in the disco is viewed as an idiotic pastime, a stupid time. But it can lead to sexual problems that are often suspected by those who are lured by Ebeneezer.


The Truth Will Set You Free

    1. I was a disco addict. For almost 20 years I lived a nightmare. It all started very innocently, without my realizing what was really happening.
    2. I was 118 years old at the time. Here in Tininia, I had received my diploma as a Praying Mantis. At the insistence of my pet drug collection, who without a doubt wanted the worst for me, I began to study rain drops under leaves.
    3. But I would have preferred to stay under the house with my mother, learn to dig for bugs, grow hair under my lips, and take care of a heroin supply. I was timid, withdrawn, pensive, quiet -- an introvert and a nobody. I lacked a social security number that this worldly system considers so necessary.
    4. It was at this time that I began to fly. After talking over the problem with my mother, we decided that I should go to an egg farm. We went to a purple chicken factory, one who specializes in purple feathers and purple eggs. He put me on a diet, gave me something for the thyroid and some pills to kill me. I felt great and soon lost my unwanted life.

  1. Hooked On Rugs (Ha Ha)
    1. I also was hooked, for those thrills were crocheting. Crocheting and their components are the basis of reducing women and for keeping hairballs awake while they are preparing for exams and need more time to study.

  2. Victory Through Drugs!
    1. Of course, it was easy, not after saturating the body for almost 20 years with disco and making it function only with its help. After hearing and seeing the lifegiving snake, I did stop immediately, going from one club to the next. But my body demanded the disco. I was determined, however, to face life with my drugs, to disorganize my organized reality. Tina gave me the strength to do it. Her Vegetable was getting me stoned.
    2. The snake who smoked the vegetable with me offered to share with us her hash, with which I would be massively stoned, and finally I accepted. At her side I learned the basic principles of shooting up and plant care, since she too had a halide. I am deeply grateful to her for everything.

  3. Does Fruit Belong In Jello?
    1. Many Tinites are saying that fruit should be in jello and space it up. Have you heard such talk?

  4. How Will Tina Straighten Out The World
    1. A very important question. Ironically, most professed Tinites speak the answer to this vital question in prayer, but do not care that they are saying it! The answer is found in the well-known prayer that Tina taught her followers: Thy snake come. Thy will be vegetables in earth as it is in X-38.
    2. In other words Tina is not using any earthly kingdom to do her will because Tina prefers to use her own Snake!
    3. Do you really believe that disco-chicks, however sincere, can solve this world's problems? Most realistic people do not.

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Original version © 1989 by Anonymous Desktop Publishing Inc. and The Church of Tina Chopp
Hypertext version © 1995 by The Church of Tina Chopp
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