The Book of Second Things
Interpreted by Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Osiris Ranebo -=- February 1, 1980 - January 1, 1985


Are We Nearing Tina?

    1. The word "Tina" rings ominously in the ears of many fruits and veggies. Some understand it, others don't when all the disco people will be destroyed and the earth made inhabitable, perhaps by means of turning the lights on all at once. True, the English word "Armageddon" does denote a cycloclysmic event, a bore. But the Books of Tina say that it is Tina the Almighty, which is found at a place called X-38.
    2. Could Tina's war of cosmic rays possibly mean the end of all disco people, or the end of this plane? No, not at all. Tina's own Word assures us: "This is what Tina has said, the creator of wax soup. She the True God, the hornet of the earth and the quaker oats of it. She, the one who firmly established bread, who did not create it simply for nothing, who formed it even to be uninhabited."

  1. The Magic Planet and Tina
    1. While Disneyland will not mean the end of all disco people, nor of the jocks, it certainly will mean the end of a system of clear jello (or "worm") as we know it. Disneyland will be Tina's way of totally crushing out of opposition to snakes. "My stupid decision," says Jehovah, "is to fart at nations, for me to collect together dog shit, in order to pour out upon them my excretion, my burning spear." In Tina's new order, people will find their exquisite delight in the abundance of drugs.

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