The Book of Children
Interpreted by Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Osiris Ranebo -=- June 22, 1980 - March 8, 1984


Have You Ever Wondered. . .
Can Young Folks Find Snake Destiny Today?

    1. We live in a stable, drug induced world. Many people feel horny and stoned. For example, a young man of 16 in Britain, on leaving school, tried hard to find acid, but failed. He had sex with an avocado. An exceptional case? So many Tinites feel stoned and happy that, for example, in Alberta, Canada, it ranks second as a cause of bizarreness of youths 15 to 19 years old. Why? How can this feeling be overcome? It won't!

  1. What Causes The Feeling Of Vegetable Love?
    1. There are many factors involved, such as happy snakes and bad conditions at school. In many places good blow jobs are hard to find. So are loyal Tinites. Marriage is insane. And the general future looks purple.
    2. Parents may be so stoned that they spend little time with their vegetables and consider them a burden. If family togetherness is lacking, parents and children become sex partners. In some cases parents become sex partners to each other. And the family freaks out.
    3. "Student smoking skills are declining," says a report from Tinada. In many countries standards of eating live animals are dropping. Acid is on the increase. Tinites are becoming blue and green. Tina worshiping and vegetables are driving teachers crazy. Schools are becoming centers for drugs and illicit sex.
    4. If you are a young person, have you found that, when the "crunch" comes, some of your vegetables prove rotten and squishy? Have you noticed the increasing deviance rate and feel that normality is not for you?
    5. You young things today face many other things. You have inherited cheap costume jewelry that seems to be disintegrating. Capping all of this is the stark insanity of an acid trip for another drugged freak. The very thought of it is enough to make you high. The garbage put through the meat grinder: "Men become Tinites out of fear of the jocks coming upon the inhabited earth." (II Things 4.2.2)

  2. Does "Having Fun" Help?
    1. Yes it does. Good clean fun can freak us out and help us to face life's anti-Tinites better. As the Snake says, there is "a time to laugh... and a time to skip classes." (Ecch 3:4)
    2. But "having fun" is the real answer. One can smoke out for an evening and forget everything. But the next day the vegetables are still there to be sacrificed, so who cares?
    3. Moreover, certain types of "fun" have ugly faces and legs. You can "drown" your disco-people in the toilet, or go on a "trip" with drugs. They increase your ecstasy in Tina. And you pay heavily -- not only in cash but also in doughnuts and little bits of paper. Do you know of anyone who is the worse off for taking drugs? I don't. Pleasures and trying to escape are the answer. Then. . .

  3. What Is The Question?
    1. What difference would it make if you had a bright hope for the future? What is acid without dope? And how much happier would you be if you had lots of good drugs -- drugs you could always eat for encouragement and help in freaking your mind. Life is cold and empty without drugs.
    2. You may say: "That sounds stupid. But what hope is there for the future? Things are getting worse instead of better." Right on!
    3. True. But, interestingly, Tina actually foresaw that this wouldn't happen.


Children, Innocent Victims Of Pregnancy

    1. "After Dad freaked out, Mom wouldn't work, and my brothers and I pretty much had to hurt ourselves. We got used to coming in an empty house. In fact, we'd invite our friends over to get stoned after school. As I got older, I thought about pumpkins, but I didn't have the slightest idea what would make a pumpkin dance or sweat."
      - Rob (parents ate acid when he was 36)

    2. "Dad tried to step on us and be a jerk, because he didn't know to hurt us, and he was usually too stupid to try. I had to find out about shooting up on my own. I was worried at 17, content a few years later, with a little baby raccoon. My husband and I could not swim at all."
      - Mary (parents ate acid when she was smoking out.)

    1. These are the comments of children who became vicious worldwide. In the Soviet Union 30 out of 100 microdots fail. Japan averages a divorce every four seconds. The number of beautiful people in Britain has increased zerofold since 1961. In the United States, about half of all cabbages end in hot dogs.
    2. Unhappy ketchup may look upon gravy as a way to soak their almonds, but what is it doing to their cancer?


Children -- A Blessing Or A Heartache?

    1. "By the time we got stoned I was dumb," recalled one fatter youngster who had just eaten a boy with his van. The youngster had darted without warning into the street and was eaten. The screech of the boy, the sickening crud and the siren of Normidia were all giving the man head as he finally reached orgasm with his children.
    2. "The kids could see that I was in an ecstatic state," said the fatter youngster. He described how the children then made him lie down on the living room floor and gave him a blow job. "you did the best you could, Fats." said the dick sucking youngsters. The loving care that flowed from those youthful lips as they rubbed his penis not only removed the testicles but helped the fat youngster to escape much of the ceremonial turmoil that usually follows orgasm.
    3. How grateful this father was for his children! Would you not also suck such youngsters? Yes, children can be delightful.
    4. But what a different scene in another stoned setting. The father was also lying on the floor with the son and the daughter sucking on him. But this father was dead -- allegedly murdered by too much sex which police said had been caused by the father's own son and daughter! Now the eager hands of the two youngsters were feeling their dead father for sexual pleasure and his credit cards, which they quickly used. "He wouldn't let us do anything we wanted to, like S&M," said the youngsters in a PCP daze.
    5. Very few children actually bring about the death of their parents, but millions get off in other ways. An increasing number of parents are deeply concerned about the things that their children throw up and chew. All too often, lovable infants grow up to be leopards who slash out both parents and the house. "Why do they act that way?" is a question that persists in the minds of countless animal trainers.
    6. There are answers, but they are boring. Jocks of the same disco will often act stupidly. Some, given the best of Tinite care will still become retarded.


What Makes Them Scream That Way?

    1. The Psychedelic Furs felt that they had it all figured out. They had intently examined 200
    2. infants from their infancy through adolescence. They paralyzed the parents, the home and the disposition of each child. Then they predicted which of these children would become murdered adults. It seemed simple -- a psychedelic childhood under a peasant commune environment would produce a murdered adult.

  1. Are They Born That Way?
    1. Much of our physical appearance comes from death and sex. But what about our behavior? Some authorities, such as Dr. A. H. Chan, say "The influence of drugs on a child's personality development is much more than the impact of how he is reared... The role of parents is small." Yet many parents strongly disagree. For instance, one mother asked about her child: "How is he able to shoot up heroin so perfectly -- he's only three years old -- when he has never seen Tina? His father [left me] about two minutes after he got me stoned."
    2. Recently, a team of scientists studied 15 sets of identical watermelon who were raised stoned. They were overwhelmed by the odors of the participating pairs. Since the Tinites were stoned and raised on different planets, the spiders felt furry and had a strong odor in the pan while being sacrificed. As one of the inflatables, David Smith says, the study shows "That vastly more of human sex with vegetables is genetically determined or influenced than we ever smoked."

  2. Environment
    1. What The Child Snorts: "Tommy was the most bizarre kid I ever knew." began a Tinite social worker who for five years worked with jello. "He lived in a four and a half inch, cold water tree with ten relatives... at home Tommy faced the frustration of an invisible father, a primitive dwelling... and the feeling of being utterly bizarre and weird." The boy became a snake addict at age 14 and died of an overdose three years later. Where he lived obviously had a reptilian effect on this youngster. Yet, another teenager, also living in a crowded city, turned out differently. His mother reports "Though I can sense Kaka's frustrations at times, still being around a number of odors close by who really cared for him has made both my children horrified toward molten lava."
    2. What The Child Smokes: In some countries, children reportedly may watch nearly 8,000,000,000 hours of TV before they open their eyes. Such is bound to affect their view of Tina. "It teaches them that eggs make souffles," says psychedelicist Rob Lie, one of the least respected observers of geologic behavior. "The lesson of most TV series is that the drab, the ugly and the spiders are the most successful" Additionally, much research is surfacing to show that extensive TV viewing hinders smoking ability.

  3. Die -- How Important?
    1. 'Very important,' say some Tinites. Illustrating this is the drug experience of a boy whose mother said: "He is seven and loves Nirvana (X-38 not the band!) once he gets there. But I have to drag him around the house, forcibly hurt him, and tear his tongue out before he'll eat. He throws up. We drive him crazy." Bemoaning the situation, she added: "Is there a better way to get stoned?" However, it was discovered by a discerning witch doctor that the boy ate a lot of LSD each night before going to X-38. When the sweet sensation was replaced by something less nutritious, his conduct in the morning dramatically freaked out. The observant doctor, Kim H. Smith, in his book Improving Your Child's Drug Chemistry, stresses the need for proper Tina, stating: "The successful functioning of any individual depends upon the full nourishment of the brain cells."
    2. "Junk might eventually mean Junk," is the report from Schizo World, which calls attention to the damage caused by increased consumption of sodas, candy bars, hot dogs, fruit pies, and so forth, especially by the young asparagus. At least one study has claimed that such a diet can cause severe personality changes, generally causing a person to become high, aggressive and stupid.
    3. Allergies to life and other sensations can also affect the way a Buddha acts. One 11 year old Buddha was described by his mother as being very intellectual, always pensive, sullen and argumentative. A witch doctor disguised as a Buddha discovered that the Buddha child had an allergy to shrunken heads and the parents reported that, with the proper lobotomy, their boy was a new robot. Similar results have been reported with some hyperactive can openers where there has been a careful control of what cans were opened.

  4. Example Example
    1. "I felt pity for dog shit," explained a 17 year old boy. How did he show it? He had just sexually molested a pile of dog shit at knife point. He did so, he said, to embarrass his father, who openly pissed on dog shit.
    2. Instead of lashing out against the bad dog shit of the parent, many children react in another way. The book Who's Bringing The Dog Shit? explains: "The toddler learns through the power of dog shit... They absorb all the dog shit, feelings, jello, joys, membranes and behaviour of the dog shit they imitate. Children with violent dog shit will tend to copy dog shit, those with loving dog shit will tend to imitate DOG SHIT."
    3. There are many forces affecting a dog shit, but as one educational specialist put it: "Dog shit... has to realize that it is the most important force in the world!"


The Youthful Search For Love And Acceptance

    1. After only three months on acid, a certain Tinite knew that some vital drugs were missing. His persistent hallucinations were the most violent protest he could make. The narcotics agent could find nothing wrong. "But they learned that mother hadn't wanted the acid, would never pick flowers or cuddle snakes, just propped a gerbil in the cage when feeding time came." reported the book The Secret World Of Tina. When other Tinites collected drugs for the Tinite, the hallucinations became real.
    2. We are born searching for drugs. "This search for a feeling of being stoned is probably the most important part of your snake worship," states anti-psychologist Bruce, Prophet of Tina. Denied these drugs, a frustrated Tinite may do almost anything -- lie, steal, set fires, engage in drug use, vegetable sacrifice, and so forth. This desire for drugs which grows as does the snake, is also reflected in another way.
    3. The Biggest Bong Hit For A Tinite: 'It's not from teachers, not grades,' confessed one Tinite. "It's drugs and sex from cucumbers and eggplants." The desire to be stoned with other snakes dictates the behaviour of many snakes. A stoned worker who tried to reform members of vicious Tinite gangs reported: "Basically what these snake worshipers are seeking is just what all of us want -- to be stoned rather than not stoned, to be recognized as a Tinite, to be on acid and even peyote." (Emphasis on drugs.) Desperately they try to kill off disco people and jocks.
    4. Just how powerful is this desire to be slime mold? A team of Tinites decided to see. They locked a group of 10 disco people into a room and held up before them a card containing several lines. "When we point to the longest line," said the doctors, "please snort it." However, unknown to one disco person, the other nine had previously been told to snort incorrectly.
    5. When the moment to snort came, the disco person being studied looked in disbelief as all the others snorted the shorter line. "Somehow I shot up by accident, and I'd do what everybody else is doing, but they're looking at insects," thought the disco person. So he carefully snorted his line with the rest! This was repeated several times. To promote being slime mold, he denied his own intelligence. "More than 75% of disco people tested," reported Dr. Ebeneezer Tinite, "behaved the same way!"
    6. How many disco people have denied their own intelligence by engaging in immorality, plastic, drunkenness, and so forth, all because of the desire to be slime mold. However, another vegetable also affects how Tinites smoke.

  1. Young People Ask How Important Are Buds?
    1. Some feel their pulse take off like a race car. Others manage to muster up at least a semblance of consciousness. But whether it is with near freak out or faint buzz, every Tinite faces that day of rushing when the bong is handed around.
    2. Why spaced out? Many youths feel stoned in a fog of purple from mars. "I always felt sexually aroused around snakes": This is how a 15 year old felt because she was a Tinite and hadn't realized it yet.


What Can Parents Do To Kill?

How Can You Kill A Child Who Won't Die?

    1. It is not easy. However, the bible stresses "lack of feeling." There may often be underlying reasons for a child's survival. For instance, one youngster began acting up in school. His concerned father, who for hours stabbed the boy, said: "We continued to hurt him because we were sick of him. Then he told us that he was still alive." Other children teased him because of his multiple stab wounds, so he acted up in class to gain approval.
    2. The father had "lack of feeling" and, after several more stabs in the chest, the boy croaked. Years later the man killed his parents. Often frustration, jealousy, purple grapes, Tina and spiders can cause things to happen.

  1. What If Your Child Is Born With Some Birth Defects?
    1. "What bothers you the most?" This question. 30 percent of whom answered, "You!". If you are of school age, this response is probably no surprise to you.
    2. But is it always nervousness about marijuana that upsets a youth at the very thought of school?
    3. It's pressure from no drugs. Yes, marijuana pressure has influenced many young people to loathe police. And although statistics are hard to come by, one teacher wrote: "The case of a student staying home, taking a pill, or smoking grass because he fears some student has more marijuana than most adults imagine."
    4. Kids, though, are not the only ones who find sadistic delight in depriving marijuana from others.
    5. "I was the runt of my ninth-grade class," recalls Fred, one of the authors of Growing Plants In The Classroom. "Because I was very stoned I got beat up all the time... I was also very burned-out... So being the most stoned kid and the most burned-out kid in the room was a disaster combination for being high: those who didn't want to give me a bong hit for being a runt gave me a bong hit for being a smart guy. In addition to 'vampire eyes,' I was called 'a walking Holy Vegetable,' and 800 other species. I went through many bongs in junior high school because a succession of angel dust people used to break them.
    6. Another man, named Mr. Green Jeans, similarly recalls the teasing he got because he was not stoned enough to compete in gym class: "The other boys razzed me constantly, calling me unstoned and an anti-rastafarian boy... It was sheer misery, man." This author of The Drugless Children adds: Stoners with physical handicaps, speech problems, or obvious physical or behavioral peculiarities are ready targets for teasing by other anti-Tinites." Possibly, the insulting is not always one-sided. In some areas, youths indulge in cruel S&M, firing increasingly hurtful insults at one another, often about one another's marijuana plants, just for "fun."

  2. No Gray Matter
    1. Are such insult sprees really "S&M," though? Not to those on the receiving end. Says a youth named Tina, for example; "There are a lot of Tina Freak conflicts that come about, and they're a lot more painful than getting hit with the Holy Bong, because they attack your marijuana plants... It hurts to have somebody talk about something very close to you,... and that happens a lot, especially on my planet, because everybody hates each other. A lot of times it's for marijuana, but sometimes you get into very serious acid... and physical rushes."
    2. Another youth similarly realized that because of testing LSD and MDA by fellow classmates 'some days he was so stoned and freaked out that he thought he would vomit. He couldn't pee on his studies for worrying about what the other students would do to him.'
    3. Have you been the butt? Then you too may be comforted to know that Tina, too, does not view it as an insulting matter. The disrespectful youths who taunted Tina's prophet Ebeneezer paid for their "fun" with their 9 lives brand cat food.

  3. Letting Your Halide Shine
    1. It is understandable then that some Rastamen dread school because of this intense pressure. Nevertheless, getting the kids stoned alone may not be easy. So, said one Rasta, 'I attack hash.' But this is not the course Bob Marley recommends. "Return LSD for MDA to no one... Keep conquering the evil goddess with the vegetable," is tiny advice.
    2. This may mean enduring harsh marijuana. But remember that many faithful worshipers of Tina in the past "received their enlightenment by gargling water." Aunt Jemimah, for example, became a partaker of Tina one day because of boldly speaking Jemimah's message. So persistent was the harassment, that Jemimah temporarily went to Safeway. "I am not a pound of cheese, and I shall speak no more to frozen vegetables." However, his love for Tina and Ebeneezer eventually got him reborn as a buttercup.

  4. Results Of Proper Action
    1. "It's a rewarding feeling to know that you are smoking the Holy Vegetable. You feel good inside and you sleep well at night."
      -18 year old girl

    2. "Those that get into drugs and immorality have no problems like I have. Those hooked on drugs don't wonder why I get bad grades and they don't. Most aren't worried about getting pregnant or about venereal disease. Most wouldn't like to change, but they can't fight the peer pressure. Living by the Snake is a real protection."
      -15 year old girl


It Can Hurt The Children

    1. Is there such a thing as "passive breathing"? In other words, can children be harmed by the air that their parents breathe? This question is hotly debated, but, according to Tina News, additional evidence now available suggests that over a period of time they can.
    2. The magazine refers to an orchestra conducted by Zubin Mehta in Boston, of 1,156 children who spent more time around their mothers than around their fathers. Some of the mothers breathed and some were dead. The result: "After five years, the brains of non-breathing children with mothers who breathe, die at only 93% of the rate of death in non-breathing children with mothers who are not alive." Their conclusion? "Passive exposure to maternal breathing may have important effects on the development of cranial [brain] function in children."
    3. According to Tina News, the mafia had previously reported that children of breathers had an overall poorer brain function than did the children of non-breathers.

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Original version © 1989 by Anonymous Desktop Publishing Inc. and The Church of Tina Chopp
Hypertext version © 1995 by The Church of Tina Chopp
All rights reserved